Embedded Files
Prologue
Present Day
Earth…sort of.
He was getting faster.
He could feel it.
The wind swept through his shoulder-length black hair as he traversed the highest branches he could find.
It was a learned skill.
Not every Malkuta could master it.
Many never even tried, the younger generations too concerned with the mundane responsibilities of life on the ground as of late.
But Zurano was old enough to remember when his people still lived in the trees. He had always felt a pull to climb, and his mother had often lost sight of him as he disappeared into the canopy.
Now, high off the forest floor, he practically ran across the thin branches, his large frame barely resting any weight at all before gliding to the next.
That was the trick. Just enough pressure to gently launch himself forward, over and over and over…
He thought of the strange woman in his dreams, and an unexpected smile spread across his face. Losing his focus for that split second was all it took to cause a misstep. Falling through the branches, he was grateful for his thick clothes, as they took the brunt of the cuts, mostly sparing his dark blue skin.
He managed to grab hold of a lower branch before crashing into the prickly brush below, and instead hung for a second, swinging himself carefully to the ground.
Landing on his feet, he grinned triumphantly.
But now her face was in his mind. Her kind eyes, her thick brown hair, her sweet smile, her fair, but golden skin.
He didn’t know her name.
He didn’t know where she was.
He just knew she was coming.
Chapter 1
Present Day
Somewhere in Montana
It had been almost three hours, and Solara was restless.
She sat watching the parade of people, the cheap folding chair hurting her backside, trying to figure out which position was more comfortable, right leg over left, or left over right. Either way, her ass was not happy. She wished she’d brought a pillow to sit on…and her noise canceling headphones. But that might have been frowned upon, since she was supposed to be raising money for a new firehouse in town. She thought about standing up and trying to engage someone, but she just didn’t have the energy.
They filed through the old gymnasium like animals to the slaughter, dropping cash and checks into an old firefighter boot at the door. The donating part wasn’t what was bothering her. That was definitely a good thing. Unfortunately, it had taken an electrical fire in a large daycare facility to wake people up to the fact that they needed a fire station on that end of town. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but she wondered why it always took a near-tragedy to bring people together on anything, and to convince them to open their wallets.
She couldn’t help it. She was disgusted at the fact that the tables with the snack-size bags of store-bought cookies, chips and other processed snacks had lines out the door, and her little corner, where she had carefully packaged her homemade cookies and brownies in BPA-free baggies for individual consumption, was getting shunned.
It was the principle of the thing.
Why did she bother?
She was the last table before the door into the actual festivities, which made it even worse. By the time the people got to her, they were already laden with all the popular junk food that they could get at any corner store.
She crossed her arms, feeling a cold spell come on. She was used to them now, but that didn’t make it any less uncomfortable. She wasn’t sure if it was all the raw, chaotic energy in the room, or the fact that she was coming into menopause…or both.
She sighed.
Probably both.
She rubbed her hands up and down the opposite arms, but nothing helped. This was a cold in her very bones, her molecules, and it had become a part of her life the past few months. She knew it would pass, eventually.
She stood to get her blood flowing, and saw Betsy heading toward her, ignoring the queue.
“Solara!” she called, calling attention to herself and where she was going. She was doing it intentionally, of course.
“Solara, oh, HERE you are, way back in the corner! Oh, and you’ve made your WORLD-FAMOUS brownies! I’m so happy there are some left, I’m going to buy them all!”
“Alright, you can tone it down a bit. No one cares,” Solara commented grumpily, but she secretly loved her friend’s knack for ignoring rules and social mores.
Betsy shrugged, picked up a baggie with two brownies in it, and plopped down in the vacant chair next to Solara. She tore into the healthy sweets as if she hadn’t eaten in days.
“You know,” she said between bites, “these are amazing. If you took the sign down, you might sell some.”
Solara looked at the sign she’d made the night before, carefully having chosen a lovely font and then putting it in a vintage-looking picture frame for effect. It said, “Organic, raw honey-sweetened, grain-free, keto-friendly brownies and cookies!”
“What’s wrong with my sign?”
“Well, you are a Capricorn…” Betsy teased, but she could tell Solara was not amused. She switched gears, though still in a slightly teasing tone. “Besides the excessive hyphens? Everything, my darling.”
Solara knew exactly what she meant; she just hated the truth of it. She sighed and sat down hard.
“I just want them to know what they’re getting. They should want to be healthy,” she grumbled.
“You’re right, they should. But they don’t. They want their antibiotic-filled fast food, their Frappuccino’s, and their processed dyes and sugar. At least pretend that’s what you’re selling.”
Betsy sat forward and snatched the sign from the table. Solara forced a glare in her direction but didn’t move to stop her. She used to care so much about eating ultra healthy. In fact, it had been a passion for years, to the annoyance of everyone around her, but she didn’t care. She’d always put her health and the health of her children above everything else, including other peoples’ judgement. But lately, she’d started to wonder if it was worth all the hassle, especially since the world seemed to be constantly working against her at every step.
“For the new firehouse,” Betsy said authoritatively, and Solara sighed again. She watched as Betsy picked up the permanent marker from the table, then opened the frame and pulled the paper out. She flipped it over and wrote “Hemp Brownies & Cookies,” and put it back in the frame. Replacing it back on the table, she grinned at Solara, then continued eating her brownie.
Immediately a large man stopped and asked, “Hemp…? Isn’t that just a hippie word for marijuana?”
Before Solara could correct him, Betsy answered, “I won’t tell if you won’t,” winking at him mischievously. He smiled and quickly paid for two baggies of brownies.
Solara cocked her head and gave her a mild glare.
“What? It’s not my fault if the muggles think hemp is marijuana.”
“But there’s no hemp in them either.”
Betsy shrugged.
Watching the exchange, three more people left the line at the adjacent table, anxious to check out the possibly illegal goodies. Solara glared harder at her friend, fighting a grin at the same time.
All three people bought a bag.
“You’d think this would make me happy, but it seems to be having the opposite effect,” Solara noted, staring at the money she’d just made before putting it in the cash box and closing it.
“I knew it would. That’s why I love you,” Betsy said.
“ I wish I had put weed in them. Or at least hemp.” Solara remarked.
“Next time, pumpkin…ooh, pumpkin brownies!”
Solara growled at her.
“At least try to revel in the fact that you snuck some dense nutrition into their otherwise dismal lives, won’t you?”
Solara managed a fake smile. “Yes, when they’re insulin dependent, which is inevitable for many here, they won’t be able to blame me. Woohoo,” she said, void of emotion and spinning her pointer finger in the air.
“You’re in a mood,” Betsy observed.
Solara just grimaced and nodded.
“Hang in there, you only have to pretend to be human for seven more minutes.”
Solara lifted her phone from the table and checked the time. “Six now…and counting. Thanks for finishing up for me. I don’t want to be late picking up Thatch. I got scolded yesterday.”
“You did?” Betsy asked in shock. “I thought that hippy dippy school had a ‘no negative juju’ policy, or something.”
Solara pursed her lips. “I did, actually, but not by the teacher. Thatch has been…let’s just say ‘cranky’ lately.”
“I imagine that’s normal…?” Betsy asked. “Teenage hormones and all…?”
She widened her eyes, nodding in agreement, and then retrieved her purse from the floor and stood. “Well, I’m leaving. Good luck. Though, you probably won’t need it now.”
A line was forming at her table.
“Oh, I won’t, and, uh, you still have five-and-a-half minutes…”
“I know, but I had to park way down the street, and I want to be a few minutes early to avoid the protesters, and...”
“Oooh…forgot about that. Fine. I won’t take it personally. Go. Be a mom and stuff. Try not to run any picketers over.”
“Accidents happen,” she commented dryly.
“Wow, you are in a mood. I like it. But, seriously, don’t kill anyone.”
“No promises,” she grinned at her friend. “Thanks, love. Wanna come up for dinner tonight?”
The two women had met when Solara bought her house ten years before. It had come with a basement apartment, and Betsy, so getting together for dinner was almost too easy.
“That depends. Will you be serving processed, genetically modified food with all those yummy chemicals, or that healthy, natural crap?” Betsy teased.
Solara stuck her tongue out at her.
“Thank you anyway, but I have a date tonight.”
“Same guy?”
She began to giggle. “Of course not.”
“I don’t even know why I asked,” Solara teased.
“I’ll keep you posted,” Betsy promised, and Solara knew she would.
***
As she turned the corner to the school, she could hear the picketers before she could see them.
She groaned aloud. So much for getting in and out before the protest started.
The local school district was boycotting her son’s private school because parents were becoming frustrated with the local public school system, leaving in larger numbers than ever. Bullying in their district had reached national acclaim, and nothing they did seemed to alleviate it. As a result, the New Earth School now had a waiting list a mile long. So long, in fact, that they had put a bid on the land surrounding the school in order to expand and accommodate their newfound popularity.
The school district administration and parents were livid and were trying to keep the school from buying the land, any way they could.
Picket signs screamed things like, “Make Public School the ONLY School!” and “Meditation is NOT Education!”
Solara drove around them, parked in a spot right in front of the door, and hurriedly went inside, but not before she heard a protester yell, “You should have your kids taken away from you!”
The worst part was that she recognized the voice.
***
Solara and her 14-year-old son, Thatch, arrived home to the pungent smell of burning fabric.
“What’s burning?” she shouted across the house, as she closed the front door behind her, setting her purse and keys on the small table in the entryway.
There was no response, though music and cheery conversation could be heard coming from the kitchen.
“Lander!”
The tall, lanky twenty-two-year-old peeked his head around the corner from the kitchen table and smiled.
“Welcome home, my queen! The other knights and I were just readying our armor for the upcoming battle. Nothing to worry about.”
The television was on, with no one watching, so she wandered over to turn it off. Whatever medieval show the kids had probably turned it on for was now over, and it had switched to news, and Solara couldn’t handle anymore negativity. She reached up and turned the thing off, taking a deep breath and willing herself to be in a better mood.
She walked into the kitchen to five young adults armed with glue guns and lighters, repairing foam and plastic armor, and giving tunics and capes a light singe on the ends to look like they’d seen a lot of battle. She instantly felt better.
“Your majesty,” all the knights said in sort-of unison, bowing to Solara. She bowed her head in response.
“Please, go on with your preparations. Big battle coming up, Monrovians. You’ll need your strength. How about dinner?”
They all cheered, and she grinned.
She could always count on Lander’s LARPing group to gobble up everything she made, because it was reminiscent of the way real knights ate…lots of fruits, veggies, nuts, berries, and grass-fed meat. These kids took their LARPing very seriously.
She also didn’t mind one bit that they all called her their queen.
Thatch came into the kitchen, looking sullen. “Where am I supposed to do my homework?”
“Homework?” she asked, surprised he had any.
“I thought your fancy school didn’t believe in homework?” one of the boys teased, but Thatch just glared at him.
“I have to run through my lines,” he answered.
“Ooh, that’s right! Camelot!” Lander yelled. “Knights, my brother is King Arthur!” They all cheered and gave Thatch awkward bows before returning to their armor.
Thatch ignored them.
“I have a client at seven, so I’ll help you with your lines after that.”
She turned to start preparations for dinner and didn’t see his disappointed expression.
“You know, Thatch, my good man,” Lander said, “being in a play is not much different than what we do. You’re welcome to join our order of knights any time.”
Thatch rolled his eyes at his older brother. “There is a difference, my good man,” he said sarcastically. “I know I’m just pretending.”
His mother shot him a warning look, which he ignored, but Lander just smiled at him, clearly sad that Thatch was missing the whole point.
***
After dinner, Solara left the boys to clean up and walked to the back of the house to her home office. It was her sanctuary, and the main reason she’d bought the house. There was a separate driveway up to the entrance from the outside, so she didn’t have to bring clients through the house.
It smelled of burning sage and frankincense, an essential oil diffuser always running on a side table, and was decorated in tapestries, candles, salt lamps, crystals, and lots of colorful, comfortable furniture. There was a massage table in one corner for her Reiki clients.
She took a deep breath and drank in her happy place, trying to swat the thoughts of concern for her oldest child away. Some days, she felt she did nothing else. Lander was unique…special. He had retreated into his world of knights and castles after his father died and had never returned. But he was still HERE, she reminded herself. He was still her son, and he seemed so happy. She just worried about his future. Would he ever find a life of his own in this world that would never understand him?
Another deep breath…
She glanced at the clock on the wall. Six-forty-five. She had some time to catch up on her spiritual You-Tubers. She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and opened the app, seeing that one of her go-to’s had a new video up. She hit play, putzing around her office while she listened.
“Hello, sweet, sweet souls!” the deep, resonant voice said. “Today, I felt called to do a video on the Twin Flame Journey, what a Twin Flame is, and where Twin Flames are in their growth and evolution right now…”
Solara looked at her phone on the desk with annoyance, rolling her eyes.
“Stupid Twin Flames…” she mumbled, as she disinfected the massage table, “it’s an obsession, that’s all…” but she let the video play.
The woman continued. “Now…what IS a Twin Flame? A Twin Flame is someone who is literally half a soul, one half of a whole, and their other half is usually either incarnated here on Earth at the same time, incarnated elsewhere, on another planet—”
Solara had stopped the video, shaking her head.
“There is no such thing as half a soul, moron,” she said to one of her favorite content creators.
Boy, she was in a mood today, and she didn’t know why.
Solara cleared her throat, staring at the paused video. Letting out a defeated sigh, she hit play again, determined not to let it pull her in.
If she was completely honest with herself, she liked the idea of having someone out there, preferably tall, muscular, tattoos, who might make her feel whole. She had felt half empty for a long time and didn’t know how to fill the space all by herself. She groaned as she realized the video was pulling her in.
“…The Twin Flame journey is a rocky one, I’m not gonna lie. The two halves may meet before they’re ready to be together, and that can force a lot of growth. It’s a painful process. It can be different for every pair, but the one thing that is constant is the first encounter. When they first meet, they feel a strong connection immediately that neither can explain…”
Solara sighed, and said aloud, “And then the man runs…” she recited without emotion.
“…and more often than not, the connection is so intense, so scary, one of the two ends up running from the relationship…usually the man.”
“Uh huh…” Solara agreed. She’d seen it too many times. Young women coming to her for healing because their boyfriends left them. They didn’t really want healing; they wanted Solara to make the men come back. She had to gently inform them that she was not a witch and didn’t engage in love spells, to their dismay. As far as she knew (and it was a small town, so she would know), not one of the men had returned, but the obsession with them made the women miserable, some for years, before they could finally move on.
“Sorry Twin Flames, but your paths are gonna suck,” she added. Under her breath she mumbled, “Glad I’m not one.” But secretly, something about the information tugged at her deep down. It made her feel uneasy.
Just then, she heard a car pull up the side drive and sighed. Walking over to her phone and hitting the pause button, she took a few deep breaths and sighed even heavier. She had to get her vibration up. She could not, in good conscience, work on someone when she was in a low-vibe state of mind. She did a quick grounding and connecting exercise in her head before the knock came at her office door.
When she opened it, a well made-up woman, about forty, stood there, a sheepish look on her face. Her hair, her clothes, her lipstick, all perfectly done. She screamed well-to-do, but Solara knew the truth of this woman. For all the airs she put on for others, she was broken on the inside, very possibly beyond repair. Solara stepped aside so she could enter, and she scurried in like a rat looking for scraps.
“Oh, Solara, I know you’re upset with me, and I don’t know what to say! You know I have to present a certain…well, position, out there in the real world, and if I didn’t…my whole life would…I don’t know…”
“Valerie, your behavior today was evidence of unresolved and unhealed trauma that you continually refuse to confront, and I was simply the innocent target.”
She stared at Solara for a moment, before bursting out with exaggerated laughter.
“Solara…I never know what the devil you’re talking about…” she said through forced giggles.
It hadn’t escaped Solara that her supposed friend still hadn’t apologized for her remarks from her safe spot in the picket line earlier that day.
“Val, what did we talk about last time you were here? Do you remember?” she asked, as she took the woman’s jacket and hung it on a small hook on the wall just next to the door.
“Ummm…” she slipped her shoes off and hopped up on the Reiki table, repositioning the oblong pillow that would go under her knees.
Solara turned to her. “That you need to own your behavior, especially when you know you’re going to regret it. Right?”
Valerie gave her a blank look, but replied, “Right.”
“So, you feel bad for yelling those things at me…?”
“Sure,” she sighed with annoyance, repositioning the pillow again.
“And you realize that what you said was incredibly hurtful…?”
“Hurtful. Yes.” But she was more focused on finding the sweet spot on the narrow table than Solara’s words.
“Then, what would be the appropriate behavior in this situation, now that you and I are here, in a safe space, alone, no one else around to hear?”
Valerie zoned out for a moment, and then laid down on the table. “Can we just start, please, Solara? I don’t have the energy to decipher your encrypted attacks right now. I’ve had an awful day, just awful, you have no idea.”
Oh, Solara had an idea all right.
Valerie closed her eyes, ready for her session, but first shot her arm out toward Solara, cash in her hand.
Where had she pulled that out of? Solara walked over and took the cash, setting it on her desk.
Returning to the Reiki table, she sighed as quietly as she could. She knew she wouldn’t be able to give this woman the full benefits of her training and gifts. She also knew it didn’t really matter. Valerie never let her in, not truly, and all Solara ever felt she did during their sessions was brush away the surface stuff the woman had picked up since their last meeting. She imagined her spinning through her days like a whirling dervish, having no boundaries. Solara had tried to teach her once how to protect herself, but she refused to learn, saying she didn’t believe in all that “energetic crap.” It was all just “woo-woo” to her, she would say, though she was one of Solara’s regular clients. She kept coming because she felt better afterward. She didn’t care to know how or why.
Solara knew Valerie never told anyone that she came to her regularly.
It was so frustrating.
She longed for a client list full of those truly ready to heal, ready to dig down into the depths of their souls to clean house, but all she had was a bunch of Valeries of varying degrees, and it was starting to make her question her entire life.
As she closed the session an hour later, she looked at the petite creature on her table, pity in her eyes.
Solara knew she shouldn’t care, wished to the core of her being that she didn’t, but she asked anyway, “You don’t really believe I’m an unfit mother, do you?”
There was no response, save the sound of light snoring coming from Valerie’s open mouth.
Chapter 2
Present Day
Earth…sort of.
The hulking man awoke with a start, frantically looking around the small dark room.
It took him a second to remember where he was…and then fall back into the familiar feeling of deep regret.
The young woman stirred next to him, and he sighed.
Did he even remember how he got here?
Yes. Yes, he did. He sighed again, this time with relief.
Searching her sleeping face, he wondered if he’d seen her before.
He couldn’t be sure.
He began to slink out of the bed, making small, slow movements so as not to wake her. First, one leg, then the other, he sat up on the edge of the bed. Then, slowly, he stood, stretching his naked body.
He located his clothes and began to dress when suddenly, a moan came from the sleeping body. He froze, hoping his almost midnight skin would make him invisible. A few seconds later, she began to snore, and he exhaled. Fully dressed, he headed to the door, nearly tripping over the skin slave’s shoes. He quietly cursed at himself and his poor life choices, knowing he was addicted to things that reinforced his self-loathing. Or was it his already healthy self-loathing that caused him to make poor life choices?
He shook his head, hearing his sister’s constant judgment in his ears. It was the reason he hadn’t been home in years. At least, that’s what he told himself.
Oh, if she knew the things he’d done.
Reaching the door, he grabbed the handle, then paused. His eyes went back to her, and sadness filled them. She didn’t deserve this life. None of them did. No one did.
Once upon a time, he’d vowed to set all the skin slaves free. He and his brother were going to be the heroes of the humans and fix everything that was wrong with their backwards society. They had a lot of lofty plans like that, until…
Now here he was. Part of the problem.
He suddenly thought of his dreams, and the lovely peach-skinned woman who’d been visiting them. He knew if he was going to be worthy of her, of the unknown mission she brought for him, he was going to have to stop all this foolishness and have more self-discipline. He needed to get his life together.
He sighed quietly and finally left the room.
***
Back in Montana…
Valerie had startled herself awake with her snoring and nearly toppled off the table, which ignited her anxiety. When she calmed down, Solara sent her on her way as quickly and compassionately as she could, shooing the woman back to her miserable life. She tried not to feel bad about that, or responsible, but it was a tall order. Solara felt responsible for everyone, and everything, and all the bad things anyone had gone through. It was just her nature. Her boys had dubbed her “Everybody’s mom,” and it was truer than she cared to admit.
To shake off Valerie’s energy, she did some stretching, some basic yoga moves to loosen up, and then sat down in her meditation corner.
She knew she was meant for bigger things than helping self-absorbed socialites perpetuate their fake lives of status and appearance, but she had no idea what that might be. She had been in funks before, but this was different. This felt…big.
Crisscrossing her legs as comfortably as she could, her spine straight, she laid her hands on her knees, palms up, and closed her eyes…three deep belly breaths, and tried to let the stress of the day melt away. She wasn’t an affirmation or mantra kind of person, but she allowed her thoughts to swirl around in front of her, each vying for her attention. She imagined being separate from them, in a safe bubble, just watching. It helped. She knew the key was to allow, allow everything to be, allow it all, but the world had taught her just the opposite. Fight everything, resist everything, always be in conflict.
“I allow myself to feel this way. I allow myself to feel this way…”
But Solara was having trouble allowing anything.
***
Notes for narrator: I picture Rain Wilson playing this guy in the movie, just to give you an idea of his serious, but slightly goofy VIBE. And Aisha is more of a Kate Blanchett as Galadriel kind of energy.
Present Day
Somewhere deep beneath the surface of the Earth
The older man moved as fast as he could without breaking into a run. He was wearing a long teal robe, and a necklace with a large phoenix talisman hanging from it that bounced against his chest as he scurried through one corridor after another. Both his hair and long beard were white, both very neatly combed. He entered a large room filled with white egg-shaped chairs, the occupants of many lying back with their eyes closed, seemingly in a trance of some sort. He headed straight for one at the back of the room. A lovely young woman reclined inside, her long white-blonde hair cascading around her like a blanket, her face void of wrinkles, or any sign of aging at all. In fact, it was difficult to hazard a guess as to how long she’d been kicking around in her current incarnation, but she had a definite air of authority.
“Aisha, I’m so sorry, but I need to speak with you. It’s urgent,” the older man pleaded, catching his breath.
The woman responded before opening her eyes, “It’s alright, Lonok. What is it?” She sat up and looked at him with her bright blue eyes, her face emotionless.
“I had an idea…about…well, the pressing matter at hand.”
“Yes…?”
He made an attempt to sit forward in one of the egg chairs facing hers, but couldn’t find a comfortable spot, so he stood again, anxious to tell her his idea.
“We send one of the Volunteers,” he paused for dramatic effect, “to a parallel timeline!” he blurted, then waited for a response.
Aisha’s expression didn’t change. “Explain.”
“Just temporarily, one that will accelerate the development, the remembering of her powers, her true abilities, and then we bring her back…to save our people. Her people, essentially.” He smiled, excited for her reaction, but she showed very little.
“That’s…complicated…” she said, her wheels turning to process what he’d just told her.
“Not really. You see, I’ve already chosen the timeline, and the Volunteer.”
“The one we discussed?”
“Yes.” His eyes grew wide awaiting more from her. Anything, really.
“Timeline travel is risky,” she reminded him.
“Yes, it is. But not nearly as risky as time travel, as we well know,” he chuckled nervously, and she pursed her lips, sighing gently.
“This…this is our best plan, then?” she asked, standing and straightening her long cloak.
“I believe so. I’ve done nothing else, morning to night, for years, formulating the most effective way with the least amount of residual blowback. This is the best plan yet. But, as you know, we’re running out of time…ironically.”
“Yes. I’m aware of your diligence. It is much appreciated by all. I’m just...timeline travel…we’d have to open the portal twice, once to send the Volunteer, and then to retrieve her?”
“Well, I would have to portal to the surface, open a portal from there to the other timeline to send her through, and then I would portal back down here, and…when she’s done, we’d have to do it all over again, but—”
“Yes, yes, alright.”
“A few seconds is all we need each time. The effects will be minimal. I’ve done all the proper calculations, Aisha. This is the best way. But we have to move quickly.”
“Remind me of the previous ‘best plan’?” she asked, heading toward the door. Lonok followed.
“You did not like the—”
“I know, just humor me. I need to hear it again,” she turned to him once they were out of the room.
He raised his eyebrows. “Very well. We bring the Volunteer here, train her to use her powers, give her access to all our technology, the healing chambers…but, Aisha, it’s very risky for the Volunteer, to push her through an evolution that ideally should be done naturally, brought about by her experiences and environment.”
“Ah,” she grunted, closing her eyes and rearing her head. She took a few deep belly breaths, as if she was visualizing the plan in her mind. “I remember. We’ve never brought a Surfacer here, not in eighty thousand years. I did not like that plan.”
“I know,” Lonok reminded her.
“Having her here would surely produce a paradox. It would jeopardize our whole civilization, everything we’ve built since coming here. The repercussions cosmically would be…”
Just then, a rumbling could be heard in the distance, and the building shook slightly, as if an earthquake had hit. Then, it stopped.
“Disastrous?” Lonok chuckled sadly, as they both looked around, waiting for another quake.
“This timeline plan. It would be difficult…on the Volunteer…?”
“Very. But I believe she’s ready. She can handle it. The timeline I chose will support her evolution,” Lonok assured her. “It matches her energetic frequency more closely than Earth’s, actually.”
“Really? That’s odd, isn’t it?” she asked, but he ignored the question, touching her arm gently.
“She did know what she was signing up for, remember,” he said gently.
She grunted in amusement. “I remember, but she doesn’t. How could she have known, really? How could any of us have known how bad it would get?” Aisha asked, but Lonok didn’t respond. She took another deep breath and exhaled heavily.
“I’ll give you some time to think—” Lonok offered, but she held up her hand in protest.
“No, I’ll decide now. Though this idea…it’s not what I envisioned…” she paused.
“You did encourage me to think outside the box.”
She walked a few paces down the hall, thinking. “Indeed,” she replied. “Timeline travel…” she mumbled.
“Much safer than time travel,” he reiterated.
“Hmm. I’m not sure ‘much’ is entirely accurate,” she argued.
“Less chance of a paradox,” he offered.
“That’s reassuring,” she said unconvincingly. She stopped pacing and turned to him. “What needs to be done before she can go through?”
He smiled, and his eyes lit up. “I need to tell her what’s happening, as much as possible. She needs to know who she is for this to work.”
“You can’t tell her everything, Lonok.”
“I know…I know the protocols, Aisha. I wrote most of them, if you recall.”
Aisha smirked at him.
“She has a family, children. She’ll need time to make preparations for them,” he noted.
She nodded in response. “How much time?”
“A week…?”
Aisha sighed. “She has children…what if this doesn’t work? I’m not in the business of orphaning innocents.“ Lonok shrugged, having no reasonable answer. “Is she really the only one? None of the others have awakened?” she asked, desperation in her voice for the first time.
The rumble came again, and they braced themselves against the nearest wall, looking around, waiting for the hallway to shake, but it didn’t.
He clutched her shoulders as a father would his daughter. “My Aisha, the others…they have all chosen to, uh, return to the ether for this life cycle. At the moment, she is the only one.”
“They’ve all died?” she was shocked. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”
“I wasn’t sure myself, but I’ve confirmed it, just this morning. The DNA patterns are no longer on Earth, or anywhere else in the physical realm.
She laughed and Lonok raised an eyebrow at her.
“The Universe has quite a sense of humor, don’t you think?” she mused.
“How so?”
“We risked everything to come here so many thousands of years ago, risked tearing the very Cosmos apart to save our people, and now our survival relies on sending one of our own to yet another time, another place, when we vowed we would never interfere with time again. It’s funny, I suppose.”
“Hilarious,” he agreed, but he wasn’t laughing.
She looked down for a moment, and then raised her head, her face filled with new resolve.
“Do it. Begin tonight.”
***
Back in Montana…
Solara continued to breathe deep, grounding into Gaia below, and connecting to Source above, but she couldn’t get the Twin Flame video out of her head. Aloud, she mumbled, “Stupid Twin Flames…it’s just obsession…sounds like attachment to me.”
She shook her head and set an intention to just connect. No questions, no requests, just connection to the Light within her. Finally, she felt the worries of the day lift from her field, or at least some of them.
Just then, the lights in her office flickered. She opened her eyes, darting them back and forth before taking another deep breath and closing them again.
Almost instantly, she saw him. A man, tall and lean, with white hair to his waist, a youthful face, and bright, but wise blue eyes. He was wearing a long, teal-colored robe, and an amulet around his neck of a bird…she thought maybe a phoenix.
All she could see was him standing amidst green swirling smoke. He smiled at her. It was calming…almost hypnotic. She suddenly felt very relaxed, and smiled back, her whole body warm.
She could see him so clearly; she opened one eye to make sure he wasn’t actually in her sanctuary. He wasn’t. She took a deep breath and checked her boundaries. Clearing her throat, she remembered herself.
“I am Sovereign here, and command you to stay outside the boundaries of my energy field, sir.”
“Of course, my dear,” was the response, and he smiled again.
She liked him. He felt like Merlin. The few times she’d had the honor to connect to that energy, she didn’t want to leave. It felt like…home.
“Are you a Merlin?” she asked, referring to the title bestowed on only the most powerful of magicians.
He seemed surprised, and responded, “I am, my dear. Very perceptive. I have worn the hat of magician in most of my incarnations, being called ‘Merlin’ in several of them.”
His words were so clear, it was a little freaky. She’d never had such a strong connection before.
“What are you called? Are you incarnated…somewhere?” she asked boldly.
“I am currently occupying a physical body, yes. My people call me ‘Consult’. My name is Lonok.”
“I see…” She wasn’t sure what to ask next. She hadn’t planned this encounter and was pretty sure she had fallen off her pillow and hit her head on a rose quartz or something.
“I have a message for you, my dear,” he said gently.
“Oh...? What is it?” she asked dreamily.
“A message about your origin. Your Star Family. The Antarins,” he stated.
“The Antarins?” she repeated.
“Your people. And mine.”
She paused and took a deep breath. “Excuse me?” She most definitely had hit her head, and this was a concussion-induced hallucination. She hoped one of the boys would find her and call 911.
He continued. “We are originally from the planet you Earth beings call ‘Jupiter’. We called it Antara, but that was many thousands of years ago. We came to Earth to escape a war, and we stayed.”
“So…” the warm, calm feeling was fading. “I’m from Jupiter?” This was a creative hallucination. Some wizard dude pushing himself into her meditation and telling her she’s from Jupiter was definitely a first.
His tone shifted to a more urgent one, as if he sensed her tension. “Yes. Eons ago, you were Antarin. And eons from now, you will be again.”
“Antarin…Antarin…” she often repeated key words to see if they resonated in her energy field. This word made her whole body vibrate on a molecular level, and a vision came strong of a woman wearing a robe similar to Lonok’s, but white, and she wore a simple crown on her head. She knew it was her, in another life, another time. Then, the queen looked deep into her eyes…and winked at her. It was so real, she reacted with fear, and her eyes shot open, her breathing quick.
“NO! DAMMIT!”
She’d effectively kicked herself out of her own meditation and lost the connection with Lonok.
“What in the bloody hell…?”
She had not fallen and hit her head, much to her disappointment.
The warm, relaxing feeling was gone now, and she was thrown into an anxiety attack. Her arms began to tingle, and she thought she might pass out. Solara had never experienced an encounter in the ether that visceral before, that powerful. She questioned if it had been real, as she did anytime something happened that she couldn’t explain. She was having trouble catching her breath.
She knew trying to go back in wouldn’t work until she’d calmed down, but she wanted so badly to reconnect, she was scolding herself for allowing her ego to take over. She took a few deep breaths and laid down on the pillows stacked behind her.
“Antarin,” she said to the ceiling, but it had no response, no insight, no answers.
She sat up, a thought coming to mind. Her whole body was still vibrating from the encounter. She looked at her hands and focused, taking several deep breaths. Closing her eyes, she breathed deep one more time, and when she opened them, a small ball of light sat in the palm of each hand. She smiled and knew without looking in the mirror that her eyes glowed a soft white as well.
“I’m Antarin…?” she whispered to herself, turning her hands over again and again, the balls of light staying attached to her palms.
“Mom…?”
Startled, she looked up, her eyes their normal amber brown again, and saw Thatch standing in her sanctuary doorway. She checked her hands, and the light had gone.
“Are you okay?” Thatch asked.
“Of course, honey. I’m fine, I was just meditating…guess I went deep.” Her mind kept asking if he’d seen the lights.
“You said you’d help with my lines…?”
“Oh! Yes, absolutely, my liege. Give me five minutes.”
Chapter 3
On the edge of a dense wood, rural Montana
The LARPers were outside working on their sword skills, and dark clouds had formed, threatening to rain on them. Lander, the leader, was keeping an eye on the sky, but didn’t want to go in just yet. He’d paired them up, Duncan with Jayna, and Thomas against Graham.
He knew it was a risky pairing, but he was determined to see Tom and Graham work through their differences, and why not with a sword? They were knights, after all.
Duncan, ever the gentleman, had trouble seeing Jayna as a fellow knight, and would often let her win. Jayna scolded him for it every time.
“I am sorry, Lady Jayna,” he apologized. “You are a lady, first and foremost in my mind.”
“Well, then, I’m just going to have to beat that belief out of you, Sir Duncan!” she said as she lunged her sword tip into his belly.
Duncan grinned with surprise, impressed. He got up to defend himself.
Lander wandered around the training area, checking the sky periodically. He was walking by Thomas and Graham and heard…
“You always do this!” Thomas shouted and threw his sword to the ground.
“Do what?” Graham asked.
“You don’t let me get a move in! You block everything!”
Graham chuckled. “Uh…Tom, that’s what I’m supposed to do. It’s called ‘sword fighting’, not ‘let-the-other-guy-stab-you’.”
“We’re supposed to be training, Graham! If I attack and you block over and over, we won’t hone all our skills!”
“You mean, YOU won’t hone YOUR skills. You could care less about me,” Graham accused, over-enunciating his words.
Thomas’s face fell into seriousness. “You did not just say that,” he said.
Graham shot him an evil grin. He knew Thomas had a deep intolerance for improper grammar and he enjoyed using it against him.
“You know it’s ‘couldn’t care less’. ‘COULDN’T’!” At that, Thomas threw himself at his opponent and they fell to the ground, each struggling to get the upper hand.
Lander sighed, rolling his eyes, but didn’t attempt to stop the fight. Instead, he turned to check on Jayna and Duncan. The female knight had Duncan pinned to the ground, and he was currently negotiating his surrender.
“Take it back!” Thomas yelled, and the sound of struggle grew behind him.
Lander sighed again.
“Alright, you two, break it up!” he yelled, poking each of the young men with his sword. They released each other reluctantly, and Lander offered a hand to Graham, who was on his back.
“Sir Graham, a word,” he said, turning his back to Thomas, who was brushing off his pants.
“Yes, Sir Lander…?” Graham asked.
“Sir Graham, you know Sir Thomas is going through a lot at home. Why do you enjoy antagonizing him so?”
“Aww, come on, Lander, it’s just too easy to get him—” he started, then saw Lander’s face, not amused. He cleared his throat. “I do apologize, sir. It won’t happen again.”
“See that it doesn’t,” Lander ordered and the two broke.
As he headed back to the other two, who were now helping each other adjust their armor, he saw Thomas tackle Graham to the ground out of the corner of his eye. He stopped for a second, thought about intervening, and then shook his head and continued on.
Then, Lander saw lightning in the distance, among the darkest clouds.
“Lightning! Let us retreat inside, knights!”
“Why?” Tom and Graham asked in unison, still entangled on the ground.
“Lightning!” Jayna repeated, pointing to the angry sky.
“Lightning and swords do not mix,” Lander added.
“Our swords are foam and electrical tape…” Duncan pointed out, garnering a glare from Lander.
They all began reluctantly gathering their things.
***
Somewhere deep beneath the surface of the Earth…
Lonok hurried into the small, dimly lit room. He seemed to always be hurrying these days. He looked around and stopped, hovering just inside the entryway.
There were thirteen egg-shaped chairs, six lining each of the side walls, and one larger one at the head of the room. They were all occupied by lean, fair-haired Antarins who looked to be asleep.
It was eerily quiet as Lonok waited.
A moment later, Aisha gracefully floated in. She nodded at Lonok but did not slow her pace to the head chair. She didn’t speak. Taking three deep breaths, she closed her eyes and simply stood in front of the man who’d been in the largest chair, as if they were having a telepathic conversation.
Lonok waited patiently.
To the outsider, this would seem an odd scene, as if nothing was really happening, but the very function of the people, the chairs, and the room itself was actually quite the opposite. A lot was going on, and Lonok could feel it in the air.
He shivered.
Abruptly, Aisha turned on her heels and headed out the door, motioning to him to join her. He obediently followed.
“My Aisha, what is it? Is there an update?” he asked anxiously.
Aisha turned to him. “The timeline is always shifting, Consult, you know that.”
“Yes, of course,” he agreed.
“But…”
“Yes?” he asked.
“The current information tells us the timeline of events has…moved up. If we don’t activate the Volunteer now, our civilization, everything we’ve built here, will be gone in six months.”
“Understood,” Lonok replied. “She will be ready soon.”
***
Back in Montana…
The knights retreated inside, but not before the downpour reached them. They burst through the front door of Solara’s house, drenched and laughing.
“Everyone get out of your wet clothes quickly, before you catch cold!” Jayna announced.
“Okay, Mom,” Graham answered sarcastically.
“Do as she says,” Lander quipped. “We all need to stay healthy for our upcoming campaign.”
They were still in their LARPing costumes, but they all kept spare clothing at Lander’s. Jayna grabbed her backpack from where she’d left it on the couch and headed for the bathroom. She went in and began to remove her rain-soaked clothes, forgetting to close the door behind her. She lifted her chest plate over her head and set it in the tub. Then, her tunic, twisting it gently to remove any excess water, then laying it over the shower curtain rod to dry. Her leggings came off next, and she placed them carefully next to her tunic after a quick squeeze.
Standing in her bra and panties now, she turned around just as Lander, shirtless and scrubbing his damp hair with a towel, wandered into the room.
“Lander!” she screamed, grabbing the hand towel from the vanity and attempting to cover herself.
“I’m sorry, Lady Jayna! I—the door was open—I—I had no idea you were in here—I’m sorry!”
She put her hand on his bare chest and pushed him out of the room, shouting “Out!” at the same time.
She closed the door hard in his shocked face and stood frozen, embarrassed. Then she smiled and stifled a laugh.
Leaning against the door, she said loudly, “I’m sorry I didn’t close the door.”
She waited, sure he was probably out of earshot.
Then she heard, “It’s alright, Lady Knight. I should have been more attentive to my surroundings.”
She cracked the door and he was right there.
They grinned at each other.
“Lady Knight?” she asked, and he blushed. “You’ve never called me that before.”
He cleared his throat, looking down at the carpet, but before he could apologize, which she knew he was working up to do, she said, “I like it.”
Then she closed the door.
Lander joined the other three in the living room, where Graham and Thomas were realizing they’d retrieved each other’s bags by accident and had even gone so far as to put the other’s shirts on. They were now arguing over who was to blame for it, throwing shirts and backpacks around.
Duncan giggled. “Why don’t you two just kiss and get it over with,” he commented.
They both turned and threw their wet costumes at him, but all three broke into laughter.
Lander rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.
***
Solara came in the door that Saturday afternoon, dropped her keys on the table and headed to the kitchen for some food. She was starving and exhausted.
The damp clothing strewn about the living room told her Lander and his entourage were close by. The mess didn’t bother her, but she did take the time to lay the wet shirts out flat, so they dried quicker before making it into the kitchen. She heard a thump and loud voices from the basement and knew they had moved their swordplay inside when the rain started.
It was still pouring outside.
She decided on a cup of tea and some hearty soup to go with the rainy day.
As she blew on the first spoonful, she glanced out the patio doors off the dining area, and smiled, taking a deep, cleansing breath. She loved the rain. Always had. It made her feel like someone somewhere was washing away all the things she didn’t need anymore. She decided to allow the stress around her experience at the holistic fair today to be soaked into the ground with each drop.
She’d paid for a pop-up space at a local flea market (indoor, thankfully), and had set up her massage table and supplies with excitement and anticipation that morning.
It was part of her determination to share her gifts with a broader audience. She was an introvert at heart, and spending eight hours straight in a very people-y environment was definitely stretching her comfort zone.
The market was hosting a holistic health fair, so Solara wasn’t the only Reiki practitioner there, but when she tried to make a connection with the others, thinking they were her people, they all seemed cold and off-putting, threatened, even, by her presence. She was the only one who lived in her tiny town, and often wished she wasn’t. They were all from neighboring towns, but her belief that they should know each other, and even form a sort-of support group, clearly wasn’t shared by all. And it baffled her.
So, she spent the day feeling like she had to compete for customers. That she had to win. And it was exhausting. And not in the spirit of energy healing at all. Reiki is simply teaching the mind and body to process and release trauma in real time, versus swallowing it down and storing it in the organs, limbs or tissue. Many studies had shown that harbored emotions, at the very least, contributed to disease and illness.
Solara just wanted to share that gift with others, and, as far as she was concerned, the more practitioners, the better.
But she had always felt like she was in the minority.
Finishing her soup and moving to the tea, which was finally cool enough to drink, she picked it up and decided to check on the boys. Lander and his crew were coming upstairs as she was going down, and they greeted her with reverent bows, as they always did. She asked what they wanted for dinner, assuming they were all staying.
“My queen, allow us to feed you tonight,” Duncan cooed, kissing her hand. Thomas smacked him playfully on the back of the head, and they all laughed, including Solara.
“Spaghetti and meatballs with salad, if that is agreeable,” Lander said, and Solara wholeheartedly approved, almost tearing up that she didn’t have to perform anymore today.
“Do we have everything?” she asked as they all passed her on the stairs.
Jayna smiled at her warmly, as if she knew Solara needed some warmth right now, and said, “If we need something, I can run to the store, your majesty.”
Little did they know, she had been sixty seconds away from ordering pizza, and she hadn’t done that in years. That would have been proof enough that she was at a brick wall in her life, if there hadn’t also been other glaring evidence lately.
As she followed them up the stairs, heading down the hallway to check on Thatch, tea in hand, she recalled her days as a corporate exec. Did she miss it? She had to admit she missed some of it. The satisfaction of being productive, having something of her very own outside her family…she almost missed having somewhere to go every day. Almost.
When her husband disappeared, presumed dead not long after the plane crash, and Lander had retreated into a fantasy world, she knew she had to quit her job. Ryan’s life insurance was more than enough to support their minimalist lifestyle, at least until the boys were grown and gone, but then Lander…changed. She couldn’t imagine him out in the world on his own now. The thought of it terrified her. Add to that the fact that the money was now running out sooner than expected, and Solara was almost at the end of her rope.
Peeking in at Thatch, who was pacing in his room, his face buried in his Camelot script, she smiled at the sight of him. He’d been so combative lately, so resistant to everything she tried to do to connect with him now that he was entering puberty.
She knocked softly.
He looked up from the papers and she could have sworn there was a flicker of joy in his eyes toward her, a tiny bit of unconditional love for the woman who’d birthed him…then it was replaced by frustration.
“I’m going through my lines, Mom. What do you need?”
She stepped just inside the door, careful not to push any boundaries. “I was just checking on you. Do you…need anything? Help with your lines? Anything else?”
He hesitated, locking eyes with her, as if there was something he really wanted to tell her, but had no idea how. Then…”No. I’m good. I’ve about got the whole play memorized. I’m fine.”
“Okay,” she said. “The knights are making spaghetti for dinner, so…”
“You know that’s not healthy.”
“Spaghetti? I think it’s pretty darn—”
“No, Mom, feeding their delusions. Encouraging Lander’s fantasy of being a knight. He’s not a knight. He’s a normal, boring, nerd who couldn’t cope with losing his father.”
Ouch.
“Well, he’s anything but normal, but I understand what you’re saying, bud. I hope you would never say that to him, though.”
Silence. The guilt that filled his eyes made her heart ache.
Desperate to keep the vibe high, Solara said, “You used to love playing with him, knights and castles and dragons. It was your favorite thing. He was your favorite thing,” she chuckled at the sweet memories.
“Yeah, well, I grew up,” Thatch said, and Solara stifled a laugh at her 14-year-old thinking he had grown up.
She swallowed hard and continued, “I just want him to be who he needs to be. And no one else can tell him what that is, not me or you. I know you worry about him. I do, too.”
Thatch fidgeted at that but didn’t resist her assessment.
“I just have to believe he’ll…we’ll figure it out,” Solara offered.
Again, Thatch just looked at the floor, then made eye contact.
“What about you?” she asked, taking advantage of the rare intimate moment between them.
“What?”
“Have you…coped with the loss of your father?”
“I don’t remember him. I was little.”
“You were four…not exactly a baby, but…I know,” she replied. “It’s still a loss.”
“Why are you asking me this now?” he pushed.
“Uh, you brought it up, young man,” she replied, setting the hot mug down for a second on his dresser and waving her hands in the air to cool them.
“Oh. Yeah. Sorry,” he said, and she knew he meant he was sorry for his earlier comments, too.
Solara was feeling his teenage patience waning, so she said, “Okay, well…I’ll let you know when dinner’s ready. And you let me know if you need anything. Okay?”
He nodded.
She retrieved her tea and stepped back into the hallway, pulling the door closed. Before she closed it all the way, she poked her head back in and said, “And try not to worry about your brother. He’s gonna be fine. I promise.”
Thatch stared back at her, and she caught an ever-so-slight nod from him just before the door clicked shut.
After the disappointing day she’d had, Solara felt better. She considered the whole exchange with Thatch a win.
***
That night, the bone-cold shook her from a dead sleep and lasted nearly an hour. She curled up as tight as she could, shaking uncontrollably. It was so intense, she couldn’t even cry. She thought maybe she had a high fever, but she knew what that felt like, and it didn’t feel the same.
Flashbacks of a few years earlier flooded her thoughts. She’d been hospitalized for severe pneumonia, and the chills that had come with it were downright debilitating. But this was different. She couldn’t move, or the pain that shot through every molecule might kill her. Lying as still as she could, she leaned into the electrical sensations, like lightning dancing around inside her, and tried to take deep breaths.
According to her friend and Reiki mentor, Antiope, a name Solara was pretty sure wasn’t on her birth certificate, it was high frequency energy flowing through her, due to the grand Ascension that humanity was going through. Solara had trouble drinking that Kool-Aid, but her cold spells had neither been able to be explained by any doctor (aside from the dismissive, “Welcome to Menopause”), nor had they eased. And this one was stronger than she’d ever experienced before. All she could do was go deep inside herself to escape.
A few hours later, she awoke drenched in sweat, the cold spell gone, but something else lingered in her mind.
A dream.
She could still feel it…feel him.
A large man with dark skin and black hair. He was touching her, and she wanted him to. She wanted him to do more than touch her. He felt good, almost like…home.
As the dream began to fade, so did the cocoon of safety he had created around them. Or, had she created it? Maybe they’d created it together. She shook her head, not wanting to fall into it again. Willing the dream to fade, she threw the covers off.
As she changed into dry pajamas, she cussed the Universe and its supposed evolution plan. When Antiope had first taught her about the energetic world, and how the frequency of the planet had been rising exponentially, Solara had been all in. She was hungry for all the information she could get her hands on, because it felt so good to know that maybe, just maybe, there was a bigger reason for the things she’d been thinking, feeling, seeing, but…
And there was the small issue of her actually being able to summon light from her palms, but she rarely allowed herself to even remember she could do that. Only her parents had known about it. And they were both gone. Even Antiope, whom she would call her “Soul Mother,” had no idea.
Lately, she’d been doubting the entire idea of humanity going through a quantum evolution. It all seemed like science fiction. Then, something would happen to reinforce that, indeed, something magical was taking place on a grand scale, something like a high school classmate, who’d died of breast cancer years before, suddenly popping up on Solara’s social media, getting married and looking very much alive and well.
That one still threw her for a loop.
When she had been in doubt, the Universe would show her a miracle, and she knew deep down, somewhere in her soul, for better or worse, that she was part of something bigger than herself.
She sighed heavily and felt the pain of her self-doubt in it.
The fact that she was entering menopause at the same time as the planet was some sort of sick cosmic joke.
***
Two days later, Solara looked around her mentor’s house in awe. She had been there many times, but each time, she found a new treasure on the shelves, or the walls, or the floor. Antiope had traveled the world, but everything she owned had a purpose, a meaning. She didn’t just collect things to collect things. Something had to speak to her for her to be compelled to buy it and bring it home.
She was admiring a selenite lamp, absorbing the healing energy coming off it, when Antiope appeared with tea for both of them.
“Sit, love,” Antiope said, placing herself on a small couch covered in colorful afghans.
Solara sat in a comfy upholstered chair across from her, moving a few throw pillows to do so.
“How are you?” Solara asked her old friend.
“I’m wonderful. I spent the morning in meditation, joining my galactic family in anchoring the new 5D crystal matrix into Mother Gaia.”
“Of course, you did,” Solara commented, grinning.
“How are you?” Antiope asked. “You’ve never just popped in before. I mean, I like it, but I’m intrigued.”
“Yes, well…I definitely felt drawn to pay you a visit this morning. I was out grocery shopping and couldn’t get you out of my mind. It was a combination of missing your face and needing some guidance on a…specific issue.”
“Twin Flames?”
“No. Well…maybe that, too. But you know I don’t—”
“Oh, I know how you feel about it. Or, have you shifted that old belief?”
“No,” she said matter-of-factly. “Antiope, I just want to talk about—”
Antiope smiled. “You’ve met someone.”
“No,” Solara answered. “I haven’t met anyone, unless you count in my dreams!” Solara laughed at her joke, but Antiope simply raised an eyebrow at her.
“Don’t do that. It was just a dream. Yes, Twin Flames have been coming up a lot lately, and I don’t know why. But, I definitely have not met someone.”
“This is the guidance you seek?” Antiope asked, sitting back and smiling with satisfaction.
“Uhhh…yes…?” She knew from experience to just let Antiope do her thing. Solara made sure to put a pin in the whole Lonok from Antara thing for later.
“But you already know the answer.”
“Ugh, Antiope, don’t do that to me. You know I have trouble tuning into my own stuff. It’s too close, it’s too big, it’s too…”
“Important,” Antiope finished. “How’s the anxiety been?”
Solara hesitated, before answering. “Worse lately. I think it’s menopause.”
Antiope gave her a “you know better” look.
“What?” Solara said defensively. “I am at the age where…”
“You’re evolving, Solara. Yes, you’re transitioning from the Mother archetype to Crone in this 3D reality, but this is an energetic journey. The physical body only reacts when we are in resistance. When are you going to learn to trust the process? To trust the Universe? To trust yourself?”
“How can you be so trusting? So absolutely, positively sure that this is all going to turn out okay?”
Antiope scrutinized her for a moment. “You believe you’re too old to fall in love,” she stated.
Solara seemed to lose her train of thought just then, staring at her lap for a moment.
“I know you’re lonely, love,” Antiope reached over and put a motherly hand on Solara’s knee.
Solara didn’t fight the deep emotion welling up inside her. She felt safe with Antiope and let the tears flow. Her mentor came to sit next to her and held her while she purged. Her husband had died ten years ago, but she felt like she’d been alone for a hundred. And now, the idea of finding someone terrified her. Her loneliness was…familiar.
She cried for nearly twenty minutes before the well began to dry up.
“Solara,” Antiope said, compassion in her tone. “You are a strong, independent woman. You do not need a man to complete you.”
“Right,” she answered, taking the handkerchief Antiope offered her and wiping her eyes.
“You have your own mission, Twin Flame or no Twin Flame. You know the drill. Focus on your own inner work, and the world around you heals as you heal, and everything falls into place.”
“Yes.”
“This life is about self-discovery, not looking for a mate.”
“Uh huh. I’m with you. Keep going,” Solara said, sniffling.
“And when we learn to truly love ourselves, only then can we blah blah blah BLAH!” Antiope burst out laughing.
“I’m glad you’re enjoying this,” Solara remarked, her tone annoyed.
“Do you understand?” asked Antiope.
“That you’re a loon? Yes, I understand,” Solara teased.
Antiope let out a sigh and threw up her hands in exaggerated frustration.
“You know all this, love. You didn’t come here for guidance.”
“I didn’t?” Solara was confused.
“No. You want me to tell you that you’re not a Twin Flame,” Antiope stated.
“Yes.”
“Okay, you’re not a Twin Flame,” Antiope obliged.
“Really?”
“No, not really,” Antiope said flatly.
“What?” Solara asked, more confused than ever.
“Oh, you’re definitely a Twin Flame,” Antiope snorted. “I saw it in the first reading I did for you, what was that, seven…eight years ago?”
“WHAT?” Solara shouted.
“You see, this is why I knew not to tell you right away,” Antiope noted.
“For eight years! You kept this from me for almost a decade, Antiope!”
“Well, that’s a rather generous rounding-up—”
“Antiope!”
“Solara,” she said calmly, retrieving her tea and taking a sip while Solara waited impatiently. “This is good news! The Twin Flame journey…well, it sucks eggs.”
“How is that good new—”
“But it’s so, so worth it.”
“It is?” Solara asked.
“Fuck yeah.”
“Antiope,” Solara responded, a little shocked. “I’ve never heard you use that word before.”
“I save it,” she said. “For special occasions.”
“This is a special occasion?”
“Abso-fuckin-lutely,” Antiope replied, as if she was saying the sweetest, most pure word in all of creation.
“How have I gotten this far and not realized I’m on the Twin Flame journey? I don’t understand. Why now? I mean, I’m almost fifty. And I went through months of Reiki training with you, and probably a hundred readings, and you never even hinted at it. I just don’t see how this new twist in my life is going to benefit humanity.” Solara sighed. “I’m too old for this shit.”
“You worry too much about what you can do for humanity. Focus on you, Solara. And the rest will unfold in perfect time.”
“Blah, blah, blah,” Solara replied, and Antiope joined her in the last two.
They both laughed.
“Are you a Twin Flame?” Solara asked.
“What do you think?”
Solara gave her a sideways glance, not willing to play her game.
Antiope smiled. “Not this time.”
“So…you have been?”
“Many times, until I got it right,” she responded.
“Why not this time?” Solara wanted to know.
“Are you kidding? That shit’s intense.”
“I feel so much better about this, now. Thank you,” Solara said sarcastically.
“You’re gonna be fine, my darling. I promise. The adventure that awaits you…well…I wish I could join you.”
“Are you going somewhere?” Solara asked. “Are you dying?!?” she suddenly blurted, worried.
“I’ll be here when you return, I promise,” the older woman smirked.
“Return…?” Solara squinted at her, trying to decipher her encrypted comments. When she didn’t clarify her remark, Solara chuckled, “You are an enigma, Antiope.”
“Thank you, dear,” she replied. “I’m here for you. You know that?”
“Of course, I do. I’ll let you know when I meet…him…I guess…?”
“Oh, I think you already have…once upon a dream…”
The older woman started dancing around her living room, though no music was playing, singing the old Disney song.
Solara just shook her head and couldn’t help but laugh at the carefree spirit in front of her.
***
Halfway home from Antiope’s, Solara realized she hadn’t brought up the Antarins.
“Oh, that sneaky, distracting minx!” she cursed the old woman aloud.
How in the world could she have forgotten to mention that to the only person in her life, in the world, who wouldn’t think she was nuts? Stopping at a red light, she couldn’t help but smile. Antiope had a way of throwing her off balance, but it was always for a good reason.
Oh well, she thought, chalking it up to it obviously not being the right time.
After all, she was still hoping the whole thing with Lonok had been a dream.
Actually, she wasn’t sure which she wished was a dream more, the Antarin, or the fact that she was on a Twin Flame journey.
Then she remembered her actual dream…and the big, strong man wrapping his muscular arms around her, and how amazing it felt. Solara had given up on ever feeling that again.
Safe.
She could feel the impending energy of big change, but she had no idea just how much her life was about to transform.
***
If you like what you just read, and you want to follow Solara on the rest of her journey...
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